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I don't want you to think this is an isolated incident -- there are flaming vaginas practically falling out of trees around here. Also at soccer games. Rommel Canlas-iStock-Getty Images"My vagina is the game. The game is my vagina. "I guess in Russia there's a constant problem with fans smuggling firecrackers into games. Like all the time. All the time women put explosives in their vaginas and go watch a soccer game and then, when it seems like a good idea, they birth their bang-baby and set him ablaze and just toss him at the team they don't like. This is what happened when some lady hooligan blew up the Moscow Dynamo goalkeeper's face by vag-blasting him with a firecracker in the middle of a game. Remember this the next time someone tries to explain to you why soccer is a good sport. It's not. Soccer is a sport at which people have literally been decapitated by fans and women shoot explosives out of their vaginas. Soccer is the sport of uncivilized animals. 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